Day 87: And on. And on.

Day 87: Monday, June 8, 2020. A lot of monkey chatter last night. I didn’t have a good night. It dissipated once the sun started to come up. I also posted a comment about a fake news racist meme and suggested that the creator was white trash and some racist Republican reported it and I went to Facebook jail for 24 hours. But Mark Zuckerberg (we like to call him Mark Fuckerberg) is a trumper which in itself isn’t enough to leave but unfair and discriminatory censorship is. We’ll see what happens. For now, I’m spending more time on twitter.

The monkey chatter was everything at once, friends dying, the virus, the house not selling, turning into a Capricon after thinking I was Sagittarius for 25 years (before which, I had thought I was Capricorn but didn’t understand it). Even when I thought it, in with all the monkey chatter, I did think and rather comically: wait until I tell my friend Georgia  (who is a killer astrologer and the source of my angst). She’s not really the source, my parents are, who gave me the wrong time (got something back from the hospital that only changed the time by 20 minutes but enough to take me from 29 degrees Sag to 00 degrees Cap).

But I did think of my friend, and with a smile, as this piled on top of everything else. It made me chuckle in the middle of the chatter (I mean, how silly that this gets put in with COVID and people dying). But it was quite loud and my thoughts can get quite irrational if I don’t rein them in.

But now I’m fine. It got light, I walked the dog, I fed the fish, all was good (enough). I’ve done more PADI, finally. Turned the very brief edit of the book back to CW for his last polish before we have the designer start to ‘flow the pages’.

A few days ago, maybe a week or two actually, I dropped my phone (not that hard, and have a case on it) but a few days later, it looked cracked in the middle, like it was splitting open only it worked so I didn’t think a lot of it. I guess the battery was swelling. Had it replaced, it worked again for a day, then the touch screen died. Comes back maybe 3/10 times if you turn the screen off and on.

So, I ordered a new one, on the weekend and paid special attention to the fact that the moon was not void. I know we are close to Mercury Retrograde but I can’t live without a phone. This one is easy to keep on, and charged, and with Whatsapp open on the phone, I can use it on the PC. But, I’m not travelling at all so I don’t need any portability right now. But I will. Also, it started ghost dialling people. Seriously. Then I try to stop it and the touch screen is frozen. The new one won’t be here until at least Friday.

So, yesterday I spilled a huge glass of mostly water (with a bit of juice in it but not 5%) all over my laptop keyboard. I’m serious. I dried it, turned it upside down and left it overnight and so far so good. But what is going on with me? None of it is affecting me much, though. Which is good.

Today, I also repotted some of the herb seeds. The basil seeds sprouted like good things, as you saw last week. I’ll try to remember to take a photo of its progress at the end of this week. I’ve started another Superama (grocery store) delivery order. It’s a good Monday. The rainy season has started, and it’s 2pm and starting to get cloudy  – expecting a 4pm thunderstorm. I like the storms and the garden is starting to look really green again.

This clearly had nothing to do with the garden

Maybe I’ll go try and find some things to post on the new website. That’s another story I haven’t told you yet but it looks like it’s finally moving. You know I wrote for Trendir when it was owned by someone else (paid writing, and I was sometimes doing four or five pieces a day). Then he started others when he sold, and he and I had a deal where I could write my own stories and get my own google ad money, on the same platform as him (Fresh Patio). So, I did and earn google ad money to this day, not a lot, but consistent at certain times of the year.

We did another site before that, Captivatist. That one, I loved.  It was a paid job – the site was his. I wanted to buy it, he traded me for my interest in the Fresh Patio Site. Done deal, I’m happy to do that – it has a lot of potential plus he has been driving that backyard site a lot more than me.

I’m not crazy about the design stuff on my new-to-be site (the actual transfer won’t be immediate so I won’t get to play with it for a while) – look at the ‘what’s popular’ on the right – that’s what should be showing up on the front page. I’ll leave the design stuff – content is content – but under Home Decor or something. Stuck at the back. This design example – Jellyfish lights – is actually up to the task. This site is really about funky, cool stuff. So, if you run across any neat stuff online, please send it to me! I need to get new stuff up there!

Day 88: I spilled my drink again this morning. Luckily, it just created a small, very shallow (cm) lake on my desk from which it was easy enough to rescue my phone, face-up in a hard case to boot. But sheesh. Mercury Retrograde and only the shoulder season. Plus, I was warned about water damage during this period and just thought pipes – but it’s moot now. It had to do with Mars travelling close to Neptune but that was when I was a Saggitarius (weak haha). I guess I need to change all my feeds to Capricorn.

Dog walks are done for my part and PJ is out with the trainer and the pack. New to the pack is Ruthie, did I tell you that? A mostly husky named after our friend who died coming up two years ago now. It’s oddly comforting to have this precious creature named after her. PJ loves her, she’s a sweet thing.

Ruthie’s namesake – she’s lovely …

We’re just having frozen left over (homemade) spaghetti casserole with spinach salad for dinner. Things are pretty calm this week. Didn’t do PADI today, not sure what I did do but I think I’d better go do at least one lesson now. Oh yeah, I figured out all the interior pages for DogStar (dedication, copyright, acknowledgements, About the Authors, blah blah) and rewrote the blurb for the back. That was something. I researched one of our podcast guests (well, two of them) briefly and came up with a few questions. Altogether, it must have taken me a while because it’s 4:30. Off to do PADI. Might be back, might not.

Day 89: My dog walks are done, PJ is with the trainer and pack for an hour. I finished section III of PADI and did the 26 question knowledge review, which I aced but tomorrow is the exam. I could do it now but I don’t want to. Then section IV and V but the exam for V is my open water dive. So that won’t happen until we get there. But I take the final exam for the written/theory part at the end of part V.

I’ve done a lot of nothing except make news lists for the past few hours. I did vaccum with my cordless. Egads. ‘My’ cordless? Just because I ordered it online and am currently the one who uses it 9/10 times? No, won’t have it. It’s the house cordless. There, that’s better. Whew.

Boy, this virus goes on. I know BC is doing a lot better and I think that Ontario and Quebec may have turned the corner but have some way to go yet. People need to maintain a high level of caution. In Mexico, we haven’t hit the peak yet, but should be close. Took us three months to get here, will take us to mid-September to get out of this. And we’d better brace for a second wave.

So, the deal with the website above is just on hold – which is fine. Poor guy had a few technical emergencies. So postponed, but will happen soon. In the meantime, I’m making a list of neat things to post about and breaking down categories. All the good stuff (I think) is currently in the MORE dropdown on the menu! Once I have had a month with it, it will look different. The hotels category, for example, will grow.

Day 90: Nice round number. Sunday actually marks three months – March 14 – June 14. Happy Anniversary – and many, many more. We’re here for another three. We *will* be willing to make a run for it in PPE to La Paz in our own car, if that is even possible. Starting to wonder, LOL. It’s that goddamn 3:18am monkey chatter. Of course, if I hadn’t gone to bed at 7pm, it may not have happened. I used to be such a night owl, why do I dislike the dark so much now?

Sometimes I think we’re never getting out of here. But you know I don’t really mean Day 90 of lockdown. It’s getting out of Mexico. I am starting to feel trapped. And that makes me dislike it even more. So I must stop myself from going there. La Paz – halfway. And I do want to stop there. But I want to get back to the west coast of Canada.

Airstream on Vancouver Island

I feel like it is still a risk to fly out of Mexico right now. Given the ‘rising quickly and several weeks until the peak; prediction by the Deputy Health Minister here. Staying in isn’t really a problem and I’m getting lots done and lots of creative stuff too. It’s staying in Mexico that is the problem. Also, we just passed June 9, which was when I had another “MEX – YVR” marked on my calendar. So now I have missed two, possible three trips north. That’s where the virus has me beat for the moment. Plus, I’d have to go through Toronto. I’m serious. And quarantine (I get it, no resistance from me) for 14 days. I better get used to it.

One dog walk done, the trainer went to the big city and you know how that throws me off. He’ll be back today but it will be an afternoon walk. So I need to do a longer second walk this morning (first done). Our lives revolve around these damn dogs but considering the situation we have, with two bull terriers who want to kill each other and one who has a 10-pill a day heart condition, we are managing fairly well, I’d say. All is quiet and tranquil. But I work my ass off to make sure it stays that way.

PADI. Oh yes, I have to go take my part III exam (well, they call it a quiz but you have to get a certain % right or go back). I’m going to do that now before the day gets much older. I’m back. I passed (90%) but I should have reviewed before I took the test – those weeks I took off weren’t good for my retention. On to Section IV. It’s happening. I knew the next few months were going to go by anyway. This is a perfect example of just doing something. And just looking at it all one lesson at a time. One foot in front of the other. Shoulder to the wheel (or is that grindstone?) Anyway, you get it. Bit by bit – don’t make yourself crazy. But just do it. If you want to. Who am I to tell you?

I got a huge compliment today. A minister (I don’t think she’s a priest but again, what do I know?) who I adore named me as one of 12 people she would invite to her team if she had something to accomplish. The number 12 being a symbolic number (even I know that). She’s more Unitarian than anything, I’d say. That’s always my second place whenever I do any of those ‘What religion are you?’ tests. The first, overwhelmingly, is Mahanayan Buddhism. We thought we could write a sitcom: My Best Friend is a Priest — then things changed and she didn’t move here and we never did it 🙂

The new sun/shade sail …

And then another lovely email from a friend here, who gave away their trump money (blood money she called it) to a fine charitable organization in Cuernavaca. Way to go!

Day WTF: I mean day 91. Too many days. I already did my PADI this morning, two dog walks, the trainer is stuck in Mexico City, I see another dog walk in my future today. My website colleague is back and he’s adjusting all the google ads – I’ll let you know when I re-launch that content site. It won’t actually close, and I will update bit by bit but there will be a ‘soft launch’ when it’s in order – the new order. It will be fun. I like the layout. Always have. I like *some* of the content but I think it went too wide, as I’ve said. The high-end design stuff is high end and design-savvy but not necessarily what I’d consider cool or funky. Time to put my stamp on it 🙂

I’ve had bad nights this week. I’ve been going to bed by 7pm (I know, right?) because I keep waking up at 3:18. And I’m going to kill those monkeys. They never shut up. And then Rosie (the old dog) starts crying at 4:30am usually, because she thinks it’s time for her morning treat. And I just get up, because what’s the point? I haven’t really slept since 3:18.

Horseshoe Bay

I really miss being able to go home every couple/few months. This week was the third MEX-YVR notation in the calendar. I think I let that upset me a bit this week. Plus, we had a bunch of bills this month – a $3,0000 quarterly health insurance payment and my phone died (and I bought one online that *still* hasn’t arrived). I had to buy another one – it’s essential for business. Well, the company bought it. We lent the company money to buy it though. Don’t even ask.

As noted, any investment income (ours, or the company’s) has dropped 30%, which *shouldn’t* affect us because we should withhold that for income tax anyway. But we don’t. And I pay our tax out of savings or TFSA earnings on the year. So, effectively, our cash flow is 30% lighter. It’s only a holdback but that doesn’t mean they won’t need to use it, and if they do, it’s gone. When the credit card bills come due (next month), I’ll have to cash shit in to pay for it. But we are fortunate to be able to do this. I know that. I just wish we didn’t have to. And it worries me sometimes. If we sell this house, we’ll be fine. But I’m starting to think that it’s possible we will never see this investment returned. I wonder if we can write it off over several years at least. The peso *will* devalue in my opinion. Within 18 months and more likely, a year. And then we’ll be fucked.

Anyway, this morning, do you know how I finally got a grip? I’m a master by the way, of losing it silently, but SCREAMING on the inside (CW in bed next to me but it’s a king). I got a grip by first, realizing this is not actual jail. Then, I went on from there. I know we are kind of in jail. So maybe it’s more like we’re in a country club jail. The point of thinking of it as actual ‘jail’ is that maybe I’ll stop thinking it’s going to change any day, or that I have any control over any of it, except my own mind. I can pretend we are in a country club jail for 9 months with no way out – and then I will maybe stop with trying to figure out how we get out of this. And accept it, and do what I can (which is a lot, compared to real jail). Because I don’t think we can get out of it. We have to just wait until the time is up. Stop hoping for something miraculous because that’s just stupid. There will be no surprise pardons. No sudden release because someone else confessed. Well, I guess one could jailbreak. But really.

This may seem an odd thing to think about, but I’m currently reading KingPin and he’s in jail (the author) in the book. He delves into how he got through it and I’m thinking it might be good advice right now. Basically, mind your own business, study something and keep your head down and cross days off on the calendar but don’t go hoping for any reprieve because you’ll just torture yourself.

Now, that said, Canada, even Ontario I think, is doing much better. BC is opening up and things are actually getting back to normal. The Island totally rocks, no new cases in a while. Islands are always easier.

In case you forgot …

Mexico, not so much. I probably already told you that our peak is “weeks away”. They’re going for herd immunity down here like they did in Sweden. This means that no effing way (polite version used for Lou) can we go out for months. And that started all of this distress that I’ve caused myself.

I was trying to figure out the logistics of boarding PJ and getting to the Airstream for a month. I can quarantine for 14 days there, there’s a bed, should be wifi. I can get a bbq and a cooler. But that’s stupid. I’d have to fly. And go through the largest airport in Mexico. Sigh. Also, even if he’s only got Rosie, CW would surely get even more lonely.

My next thoughts were checking out private jets again and just taking the four of us home (us and the two dogs). It’s a lot of money. And we’d leave the house empty, which is not good. But I’m going to work on it. Maybe someone (I have someone in mind) wants to live here until sold. Sigh. I have to stop getting ahead of myself. That’s October ish. But you know what? It’s not that far away, especially when it’s going to take 30 – 60 days to close and there are no showings because we haven’t even reached the peak of the pandemic yet.

To be honest, we’d go to La Paz in that case. But I think I should find something else to occupy my mind, I don’t think this is healthy shit but I do always want to be ready for the worst. It would be the worst-case scenario but needing to bug out isn’t completely out of the question – this government has no control at all. And that usually leads to every man for himself. Am I being dramatic? Not sure. But we have walls, we have razor wire and an electric fence on top of that. And we felt that was necessary before the pandemic hit. And all part of why I want to leave – this isn’t the kind of society that I want to live in. Even less now.

The jungle wall is full of these heleconias

I guess I should wash some floors. Writing doesn’t seem to do anything for all my pent up aggression – just making it worse LOL. Some therapy. Back after a few floors 🙂

Ok, I washed the terrace, the office, the tv room, the walk in closet, PJ’s hall and the living room/glass room floors. Dining room and kitchen floors tomorrow. And I cleaned all the glass. Boy, I’m in a mood today. I should probably just get in the pool and do laps for an hour until I’m exhausted and then go to bed. But who would give the dog his remaining 3/10 pills today? Sure, I guess CW would. So it is an option. But that would mean bed by 4pm (not even 2:30 yet). Not sure that tracks for me, even in the mood I’m in 🙂

The casita bed looks good about now …

Ok, iced coffee. See if I can stay up past 7pm. Thereby not waking up again at 3:18am. Maybe watch a little TV. A little Dead to Me. Really an interesting series. Only season II. But I do feel like I’m in one of those times when I’d better keep myself physically busy, unless I am asleep. Or listening to really good music, like the old Bob Seger that just came on the radio (ClassicHitsOnline.com). I need to keep moving, even if just to music. Oh, God, I’m probably suffering from all kinds of psychoses and I just told everyone.

Actually, I started involuntarily moving to the music and occasionally actually dancing when the pandemic started. I think I noted it then. Not sure why. But it happens and what the hell. Ooooh, maybe it’s a sign that I should be concentrating on The Fork as a writing project. There are only two people in the world who will understand that logic, I know. And neither one, as far as I know, reads this blog. Long story. One day.

Okay, something else to ponder (the project). Also a possible showing tomorrow afternoon. Masks and gloves are mandatory and we leave the house wide open, they don’t dilly dally and we don’t go back in for a while. And when we do, we have masks. It’s hard work to sell a house during a pandemic.

Day 92: I felt better this morning, I slept well. Maybe because we have a showing. Is that all it takes? Because I’m not even sure that leaving now is a smart thing. So all it takes is tidying up for something that you don’t want to happen? LOL. But the eternal hope – that’s what I need. Well, it’s what I used to need as a Sagittarius before I was Capricorn (you know I’m just using this as a runner in the story). My friend the astrologer told me I could be Sagittarius for descriptive but even before, at 29 degrees Sag, I would have been Capricorn for predictive. Which is all I care about. She also told me my double Scorpio makes me Darth Vader and my Sagittarius was all that saves me. So I *hope* the descriptive still holds 🙂

That’s the middle of the night for the winter solstice (my birth time) at 00. I do not like winter and I need the daylight. So not sure how I was born then. I should have been born at noon on the summer solstice, I think. I know they aren’t related.

My studio where we will record the podcast and now it’s a video show too

What else? Moving along on the podcast and show. Should be fun. Still not 100% sure what I bring to it but maybe something will emerge.

Damn, the showing was at 2:30. They’re from Mexico City. Agents were all here. The couple got stuck in traffic – bad accident. Didn’t move for 1.5 hours… turned around. But they apparently specifically asked about this house, not other houses, not ‘show me some houses’. But saw this one online and called their agent. So they will come back. house looks great though.

Those are wine bottles …

We got lots of flowers. They look fantastic around the house. I hope they come back tomorrow.

No PADI today but it was Saturday. And I was cleaning a lot. Overall a much better day – I have to try to stay up until 9pm tonight. Might be more difficult with no coffee (way too late by 5:13) but we’ll give it the old college try. A little eBay – still looking for the Coup de Ville in the bottom of a cracker jack box – and bed. Manana…

Day 93: Publishing day. Clean house with lots of flowers. This came in my mailbox (referring to my moon/rising in Scorpio, and this week): “As you look ahead toward the end of the week you get a sense of emotional waters starting to churn but fortunately, the past few months have made you an excellent swimmer.” I guess forewarned is forearmed and all that.

Casita bathroom

Publishing day also means ‘art’ day. I have some photos of the house (since it was so clean and full of flowers and the cover was off the pool etc). So if you see a lot of those, that’s why. Am I depressed today? No, not at all and no rhyme or reason except it serves no purpose anyway. Chris pointed out that this was June already. Mid-June. Time marches on.

Ok, the viewers from yesterday, who were stuck in accident traffic, will return at 2:30 today to view the house. I will probably publish before then. We’ll see.

They came and went and were very enthusiastic and spent a lot of time. And we have another showing tomorrow. So, fingers crossed. We could be heading out soon. Or not. Round and round and round it goes, where it lands, nobody knows. Not much food in the photos this week. I’ll see if tonight’s dinner is worthy, then I’ll publish.

Honey Garlic Shrimp

That’s it for me. Maybe we’ll sell the house this week. Maybe not. I don’t have a sense this time. But I’ll certainly let you know.

Stay safe, stay informed, stay kind. See you next week.

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2 Comments

  1. Patti Prest Reply

    Thanks for telling us what goes on in your head………. monkey mind, and your thoughts about “jail”.

    Now I’m not the only one. Busy every minute of the day, projects, chores, rambling sunrise dog walks………but oh! I miss my friends! and TRAVEL!!!…..and ugh! sometimes those wake up and can’t get back to sleep nights….
    Won’t be going anywhere soon……..a Buddhist saying I read long ago is helpful ” diligence in the present moment creates the future when it arrives as now”
    My diligence is stying home, and not catching the virus, hopefully. Yes, stay safe and kind . Thanks for your blog.

    1. admin Post author Reply

      I hear you, Patti! We’re lucky we have dogs and a place to take them. But oh, travel will never be the same 🙁 Thanks for the Buddhist saying! Talk soon xo.

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